She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
two words...techno handjob
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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