I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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