Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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