I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
