Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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