what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
