Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
