Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
