He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
