it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
