Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
