the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
