Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
