found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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