You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
