hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Randomize
