Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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