So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
