I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
