What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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