Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
