She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My ass is underappreciated
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
