Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
