i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
