so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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