some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
