The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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