I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
