I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
