every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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