Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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