Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
