sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think i have two assholes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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