So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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