look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
