the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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