they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
