Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
