New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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