HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I forget how to act sober
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
