the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
