dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
