she looked like the bat from fern gully.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
