i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
