And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
