chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
