I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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