I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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