someone threw a dead crab at me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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