I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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