Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
